Poke me with a big, giant, freakin fork!

     This will be my last post from China as I am officially "homeless" as of tomorrow noon.  My contract, with Shitty City College of Shenzhen, expired June 30, but we are not going to be paid until July 11.  Also, we are being kicked out of the dorms on June 30 as well.  Because I had to teach 6 classes on June 30, I was able to have SCC deduct the money for a few extra nights from my pay so I could stay until July 4 to finish packing.  I didn't have the cash to stay in a hotel and I did not want to use my credit cards before I hit Europe.  Almost everyone else is gone so the place is pretty quiet.  The teacher who went on a full blown bender and didn't show up for any classes last week, may or may not still be in his room, passed out in a pool of vomit.  He is like the Yeti...there may or may not have been sightings.
     I will NOT miss the dorms at all.  EVERY SINGLE TIME I take a shower I curse this place and SCC.  The place is soooooo small, and my life is in such flux right now, I am constantly bumping into corners or edges or banging something against something.  I will NOT miss the building managers wild and drunken card parties outside my window.  He has taken to having large groups of people over for dinner and cards.  The games involve money and drinking, so by 11pm, it is pretty loud.  He is the one we would complain about the noise to.  Yup, not working for me.  I will also NOT miss his barking dog.  About a month ago, he moved his dog into a small cage outside the entrance to our building.  The dog barks CONSTANTLY and the noise echos up the stairwell to the 5th floor.  I truly hate that dog, but I blame the landlord who keeps him caged up for long periods.
     I am supposed to get paid July 11, but because they have been a bit remiss in paying us in full OR on time, I am not departing until July 12.  That being said, I have informed them that I have closed my bank account in China and will be by on July 11 to collect my final paycheck in CASH and then someone from the college will walk to the bank with me to change RMB to USD.  NO clue what my final pay will be.  When my original school in XiLi closed early, for construction, SCC told me that they might not be paying me my full pay for June.  Then they said I was being transferred to another school in Qianhai.  So, on June 14, I started teaching at a new school for the last 2.5 weeks of my contract.
     I went from teaching 15 classes over a period of 4 days to teaching 18 classes in 3.5 days.  At my first school, I had Wednesdays off so I could attend "training" at SCC.  At the new school, I had Fridays off.  It wasn't until AFTER I started that I was informed that the day off Friday was to be used to teach ANOTHER 6 classes at another school.  WTF???  I informed the head of SCC that my contract limited me to the 18 classes I was already teaching and there was not enough money in China to make me teach another 6 classes all day Friday.  The teacher I had replaced was from South Africa and was likely here on an illegal visa, as ESL teaching visas require the teacher come from a native English speaking country.

     I also went from teaching grades 4, 5, and 6, to teaching grades 1, 3, and 5.  There is more then a HUGE difference between teaching 40 kids in grade 5 who will listen to you when threatened with their lives, to trying to corral about 52 first graders who really speak very little English.  I equate teaching first grade with trying to herd cats, except you can put the bad cats down or lock them in a cage.  One of the biggest hurdles I faced was my commute.  I went from a 20 minute walk, or a single bus ride for about 4 stops, or a 7 minute scooter ride, to a 45 minute bus ride or a 1 hour bus/metro ride.  The good news was, the bus stop for the bus to my school was closer by a block then for my old school, the bad news was that the new bus ran less often.
     As cash broke as I was, it was easier to catch a cab to school and then deal with the bus coming home.  The problem there is that cabs do NOT like to stop for foreigners for fear they will be unable to tell the driver where they want to go.  I made sure that the name of my school was written in Chinese so I could simply show the driver where I wanted to go.  This worked great IF I could actually get a cab to stop.  I learned very quickly that in China, you simply get in first and THEN tell them where you want to go or they will roll up their window and drive away.  I was taking the B796 bus when I could, as it stopped by the dorms and a block from school.  It didn't run very regularly, but as long as I allowed time to travel, I was fine.
     My last week of school was...........where to begin?  On Monday, I waited at home for the shipping company to come and pick up the two boxes I was shipping home of stuff I did not want to throw out, but I was hoping to avoid having to check a bag to lug around Europe.  It didn't start to rain until the driver called.  He was speaking Chinese, and even after I told him I did not understand, he kept talking, and talking.  I finally hung up.  A few minutes later, the company called from the UK to tell me the driver had indeed called, he was lost, and he had left the area but would return.  So, I waited some more.  The driver did finally show up at my door and carried out my two boxes without leaving a receipt.  My fingers are crossed.  The company was quick to send me an invoice and ask me to check a few more boxes on the customs forms.  This involved downloading them to a USB, taking the USB to the local "print shop", having the form printed out, checking boxes, and then having the updated form scanned back onto the USB so I could email it back to the company.  This was my third trip to the "print shop" for said documents.
     Tuesday, I did not have to teach until 9:20 am, so I left my house at 7:45 am to get to the bus stop by 7:50 am.  I figured that an hour and a half for a 40 minute bus ride was good enough.  Did I mention it was POURING?  I do not mean raining cats and dogs, I mean raining cows and elephants.  The new, larger, prettier umbrella I bought was going to be great.  One of the teachers down the hall asked if I had an extra umbrella so I gave him the slightly broken, but sturdy, umbrella from home.  I set out for the bus and very soon felt cold water dripping down the back of my next.  New umbrella?  POS umbrella that leaked like a sieve.  No good deed goes unpunished.  He later informed me that he left my umbrella in Hong Kong and gave me a replacement.  The replacement was good for neither rain nor sun.  At last my POS umbrella had a UV protection layer,

     As I waited, and waited, and waited for the bus, I noticed other buses going by with a number I had never seen before.  I looked on the list at the stop and sure enough, not listed.  I finally asked the driver if it went anywhere near my school and he said no.  So, after about 40 minutes, I contacted my school and told them I was running very late.  I could NOT catch a cab, and the few that stopped were snatched from under me by Chinese.  I did not blame them.  Finally, at 9:18, I contacted my person at SCC and told them to call the school.
     I showed her the picture of the bus stop, and while I was waiting for her to send the Chinese name of an alternate stop on an alternated bus, they came and changed the bus stop sign.  I SHIT YOU NOT!  My bus no longer stopped at that stop AND the alternative bus no longer stopped there either.  I then went to the further bus stop and caught the bus to the metro.  It had not really occurred to me to take the alternate route, as I was focused on my bus and the fact it was pouring rain.

     It had stopped raining when I got on the metro, but by the time I exited my stop, it was raining again.  Apparently, I took the wrong exit at the metro and wound up walking the wrong way.  After wandering for about 15 minutes, for what should have been a 2 block walk, I simply stopped in the middle of the vast sidewalk, and under my leaking umbrella, simply broke down and sobbed.  When I finally composed myself a bit, I asked someone where my school was and they pointed me in the right direction, or so I thought.  I did, in fact, arrive at a school, but it was not MY school  There are two schools relatively close, and they were able to point me to my school.  I finally arrived in time to teach my 4th period class.  That the AC was blowing cold air on my soaked person did not help.  After I composed myself, and I just sat down and showed a cartoon.  I was too wiped to actually teach anything.  After that class, instead of eating in the school cafeteria, I simply pulled out my cot, put on dry socks, and curled up in the fetal position on my cot.  My afternoon classes were treated to a movie as well.  By the time I got home that night at 5:30pm, I was ready for bed.

     Wednesday, hoping to avoid the fiasco of Tuesday, I left early again and attempted to catch a cab.  I was able to catch a cab and was only 20 minutes late for my first class.  I did all 4 classes and I seem to recall I may have actually taught a few.  Most of the other teachers were finished, so I was one of the only ones still teaching.  On Wednesday afternoon, I was able to pick up the "yearbook" photo album my first school had made for me.  It is quite heavy and is very impressive.  They did not put as many pictures in as I had hoped, but you get what you pay for.

     On Wednesday, I also started the effort that was downsizing and beginning to pack.  I realized that I had way more stuff then I shipped home, so I was glad that my oversized suitcase had not sold.  I then started to get rid of "stuff".  My kitchen is now as tiny as it really is.

The large metal shelf went to the guy who also bought the large oven.  I will NOT miss my almost non-existent "kitchen" in China, but I know my former teachers will miss my cooking and baking!  I made a batch of cookies with a donated stick of butter and all the ingredients I had left in the pantry.  They were oatmeal, cherry, raisen, walnut, pecan cookies.  They were amazing and may have been my best batch ever!

The served me well for breakfast a few mornings.  I cut this into squares and shared some with others.  I had learned from previous attempts, the only way to bake cookies was to make a pan cookie and cut it into squares.  They were little squares of joy and yumminess!

     On Thursday, I again left early and took the bus to the metro.  I had hoped to score a coffee at McDonald's, as I had not had time to make a second cuppa at home.  Nothing was opened.  When I got off the metro, I found an open KFC and scored a mocha and a latte, which combined to make a reasonable cup of decent coffee.  I poured it into my thermos and took it to class with me.  I had every intention of showing movies all day, my last day at a school that was not even mine, but the teachers seemed fascinated with why the kids loved me so much, so they sat in on most of my classes and I had to actually teach.  There was no teacher for my LAST class, of first graders, so they watched Monsters University.  My give-a-shit meter indicated not a fox to give.  I don't think I actually ran out of the school at the end of the day, but it was damned close.  

     On the way home, I contacted my person at SCC and asked if they could contact the landlord to let me stay a few extra days to actually pack and downsize.  I was NOT in any mood or condition to finish packing after my week from hell.  Done.  I was good until noon on Monday.

     My agenda for Friday was simply to stay in bed as long as possible (I lasted until about 9:00am) and then do a lot of nothing.  The guy down the hall had the same agenda and asked if I wanted to wander for lunch later in the day.  We took the subway to an underground mall and walked around.  We ate lunch at what may be the only remaining Kenny Rogers Roasters??

The food was identifiable and adequate for China.  I ordered the chicken dinner and was THRILLED to see that they served a breast and wing that was NOT hacked to pieces.  I had stopped earlier for a cappuccino and purchased a new travel fan for ambient noise, and I was content to come home and veg.

     Saturday I did laundry (it was sunny), and picked up the clothes I had made in China.  They are poorly crafted at best, but comfortable and if I throw them away when they wear out, no love lost.  One teacher down the hall had to administer tests at his school on Saturday (yes his contract expired on Thursday, but he is returning to his school and there is mutual love and respect), and when he got home, 3 of us remaining popped the champagne I had in the fridge for a toast to surviving a full year of teaching in China without having to hide any bodies. 

Last supper with other XiLi English teachers.  I will miss these gals terribly!

Last supper with some of the gang from the dorms.  I will some of these folks, and others, not so much.

     So I am about to start packing for my last night in the dorms.  I really won't miss this place, and I hope that the next place I go is a lot better.  I know I will make more friends.  I know I will see more exciting places.  I cannot wait to get home so I can get ready for my next adventure.  I will post from home when I know where I am going next!

On the Road Again...maybe??

     So, as I approach the end of my contract (June 30), I have started looking for my next grand adventure.  I did this trip for the actual experience, but my next grand adventure is for the cash.  A dash for the cash, as it were.  I am looking at Saudi (I KNOW), Kuwait, and just got an offer from South Korea, although the last guy told me I was way too old...who knows!
     I am starting to wind down things in China and have started throwing out and giving away and posting for sale the stuff I do not want to carry with me or ship home.  I did the math, and it will likely be cheaper to mail home 2 large boxes of stuff then pay the excess baggage fees to take them with me.  This means tossing out my suitcases, but it means I will be able to travel about Europe with a single small roller and one large carry-on bag.
     I booked myself from Hong Kong to Berlin, July 12, Berlin to Paris, July 19, Paris to London (via bullet train and the chunnel) July 20, then London to Chicago July 25.  When I get home, I have a few appointments at the VA and then I will like visit dad in Arkansas and Holly in Texas....I realllly hate Texas...I hope she appreciates this!
     Now that things are winding down, I have actually taken the time to stop and enjoy China a bit more then I have.  When a person is in a constant state of "survival mode", it is hard to relax.  I am taking people up on the offers of mini adventures and have started a round of fine dining to beat the band.  The teachers at my school got together for Korean bbq and it was AMAZING!  I was even able to take home the leftover green stuff for Ernie :-)

     For the past two months at school, they have been having one competition after another.  The children all participated in a singing contest and the winners were chosen for each grade.  They also participated in a piano contest.  THE COSTUMES and make-up on the kids are......no words

This is the 4th grade boy who makes my life very difficult every class...unless I speak to him directly and then he pays attention and behaves!

     There have been a few festivals going on about China and these were taken at Window of the World shopping plaza.  Not quite sure what they were about, but the girls looked beautiful.

     As the school year ends, we find ourselves spending more time together.  It seems that more of us are spending time at the "beer table" and talking about what we plan to do next.  It is amazing how the people that wouldn't spend the time to say hello are suddenly waxing nostalgic.  The guy on the far left is the building manager.  He went from hating foreigners to raking in the money from selling us beer.  He loves us and will hate to see us, and our yuan, leave!

     

A Special Child

     When I first arrived in China, I was full of energy, I was very positive, and I was eager to get into a classroom and help shape the minds of small children.  I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to influence, and most of all, I wanted the children to be excited about learning.  One of the first things I learned, the hard way, about teaching in China, was that there is no division of different learning levels in the classrooms.  There are no advanced placement classes, there are no special ed classes, they are simply a melting pot of all the children who are of school age.
     I notice the difference in the children's abilities right off the bat.  I notice that some children spoke decent English, and some could barely manage a, "hello".  All of the children I met, when asked, "How are you?", would reply in the same robotic voice, "I am fine, thank you."  Some kids said it better then others, but that seems to be the one phrase all Chinese children are taught.
     Because I was hired to teach the kids how to speak in English, as opposed to reading, writing, and grammar, I focused on getting every child in the class to speak at least once every day.  I found some great English language books online that had subtitles, so the kids could read and speak along with the story.  I learned to pause the book after each sentence and make each child read a single sentence allowed.  A 5 minute video could take me through an entire 40 minute class.  I would also walk up and down the very narrow aisles in the classrooms (the average class is 45-50 students), and lean in close to the ones who were too shy to speak out loud.
     In speaking with other teachers, we found that it was common for the children seated around the kids with special needs to speak for them and let us know that the child we were talking to may not be able to answer us.  Without going into any special detail, they would just shake their heads or whisper, "no" to me to let me know that the child was a special needs child.  The most common special need I have encountered is that of autism.  The spectrum runs from the fairly functional to the child who will sit in class and draw small repeated patterns or pictures, or just simply stare.
     In one of my classes, I have a child who sits in the rear of the class and carries on, what I can only imagine, are very lively conversations with the voices in his head.  This is one of my favorite classes and lately I have been doing more group exercises and games, so indiviual participation has decreased.  His mouth moves almost nonstop and his gestures seem to indicate a conversation.  I generally move past him, and never push for an answer, but today I decided to see if I could get an answer from him in a game we were playing.
     When I approached him, the children around him looked at me as if to warn me not to disturb him, and one child said, "He is not right in the head.", but I squatted down, to be at his level, and asked him a very simple question.  He was able to answer my question and then it was like the light went off on the porch of his mind and he looked away.  His team did not win the game, but I made sure he got a sticker and a "great job!".  I don't know if he really understood, but he seemed to be happy, if even for one small moment.

REALLY????? The Terracotta Warriors trip

     About the same time I agreed to go on the teacher field trip, Abi (another teacher at my school) asked if anyone wanted to go to Xi' an and see the terracotta warriors.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  Like she had to ask!  I was all in and had the plastic to make it happen.  Did I mention that Abi is maybe 23?  I am older, I am wiser, I have better plastic :-)  So, for the second weekend in a row, I was headed out of town on a grand adventure!  I did not do much research prior to going except to check on where we were headed and what the weather would be like.  It was supposed to be a good 10 degrees hotter, but the humidity was only 20%, and Shenzhen rocks a good 75-88% ALL THE DAMNED TIME!
     Because our flight was leaving at 6:30 OMG BUTT CRACK am, we decided to have a nice late supper, a glass of wine, and then camp out at the airport.  The idea was much better sounding in our heads, as the seats at the airport did NOT lend themselves to camping out.  The flight would be about 2.5 hours, so I figured I could sleep on the plane.
     As we headed through security, the agents started getting all excited about my carry-on and my purse.  Having just purchased a battery pack, I did not know that you had to pull it out, with your phone, in China, and put them in a separate tray.  Done.  Do you have a book in your carry-on?  Of course I do, let me pull it out (GOT vol. 3). Done.  What is this small vial of liquid (a smidget full of mouthwash to store my tooth in)?  I pulled out my tooth and pointed to the bottle.  Ok, ok.  Done.  What is that thing of liquid attached to your purse?   I pointed to the 2 oz bottle of hand sanitizer attached to my purse by a rubber holder and asked, "This?"  Yes, what is that?  I said it was hand sanitizer, I put some on my hands, and rubbed them together.  My friend tried to explain in Chinese that is was less then the allowed 3 oz, but the security person was not having that.  She was demanding I turn over the whole thing for disposal.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  This is China!  People shit, piss, spit, and vomit on the street and NEVER cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze and you want to throw out hard as hell to find hand san?  I told her in no uncertain terms I was NOT parting with the container but if she had to, she could empty it.  Both Abi and I cried nooooooooooo the whole time she was pouring the precious fluid into the trash bin.  I was SO glad I remembered to fill it before we left...NOT!
     We both slept on the plane, me better then Abi.  When we landed, we were told it was too far to cab it to the hotel, but there was a shuttle that left every 15 minutes or so that would take us very close to our hotel.  Apparently, "very close" is a relative term in China and can mean 1-27 blocks.  We were close enough we decided, and took our very precious map, with the hotel block circled, and headed off.  We finally found OUR hotel, tucked inside an apartment building that proposed to hold another hotel.  We did not care, we had found the place.
     When we checked in, they verified we had indeed paid for the room up front and in full.  It was not the Ritz, but it was China ok, AFTER we informed them that we were not sleeping in a single king bed.  It was the first time a Chinese person told Abi that "her mother" appeared upset.  Apparently in China, a really white red head is very likely the mother of a very tan Mexican American.  Every. single. person. called me her mother.  It was not fun, but hell, I am old enough to be her mother so meh.  After a long nap and a shower, we had a late lunch at a nice restaurant and then headed to the wall and to the Muslim quarters, which is within the city walls of Xi'an and it was amazing to see.  The wall surrounds the city and is likened to the Great Wall.  The entire wall is almost 3,000 years old and we were able to go to the top of the wall and walk around (for a very steep price).  When we weren't being photobombed, we were able to take some nice pictures.  The pics are a bit fuzzy as it was dusk.

As crowded as it appears!

     After walking around the top of the wall for a bit, we headed out to the Muslim quarter to eat.  The Muslims cook Chinese food, but they do not eat pork, so you can get food that is not pork.  The streets were completely crowded and we had to push and shove our way through.  We were able to shop, eat, gawk, and sightsee.  It was truly and experience.

More crowded than it looks!

Goat hooves

wall-O-peppers

Goat carcasses?  Don't ask!

sugar pulling

     We got back to the hotel about 10:00pm and were exhausted, but in a good way.  We had arranged to have a tour of the warriors the next day, and were told to be waiting for our ride at 8:30.  I had only 1 cup of instant coffee in the hotel, so I set out to find sustenance while Abi sat the bench waiting for our ride.  I was able to find 2 cans of lukewarm coffee beverages and 2 snickers bars.  Throw in a cigarette and it is the breakfast of champions.  I think it was about 9:15 we were able to ascertain that the ride was not coming, and the hotel lady put us in a cab and pre-paid the fare.  We finally hooked up with our "tour" company, who then picked up an English translator and headed out to the site to meet up with our "tour group".  We were told the price of admission included lunch, for which we were VERY apprehensive (see prior post about teacher field trip), and were pleasantly surprised when our first courses arrived and they were delicious.  We were given two veggie and meat courses, and because we were soooooooo late meeting everyone, we were told that was it.  They were NOT happy when we stayed to finish what little we were given, being 2 of the probable 6 dishes of the entire lunch.

     We drove some more, and finally arrived at the site of the excavations.  We were given a 20 minute lecture on the history of the sites (having received the same lecture by the other guide on the way to the group), and were sent off alone and given exactly an hour and a half to take it all in.  It was a holiday weekend and the place was stuffed to the gills with Chinese tourists.  Of all the excavation sites, only 3 were open to the public.  Pit 1 contains the warriors, Pit 2, mostly empty, and Pit 3, which contained the "command center".  We started with Pit 2, as it was mostly empty, and then headed to Pit 3.  We saved Pit 1 for last as that contained the most to see.  It was HUGE and mere pictures cannot describe how awe inspiring it truly was.

This is a statue on the way.

Pit 2

Standing archer

Senior Officer

Mid ranking officer

Back of kneeling archer, one of few warriors with color.

Pit 3

Command central officer meeting

Pit 1

Warrior "hospital" where figures are reconstructed.

     After "viewing" the pits, between throngs of pushing, shoving, yelling, and photobombing Chinese, we were taken to a separate area that we were told was the emperor's mausoleum.  To understand the history of the area, please read a book, it is far to long to talk about here.  Let's suffice to say the really wicked, ego maniacal, first emperor of China, who is hailed for uniting all of China and standardizing language and characters, built himself a mausoleum, allegedly, then killed everyone who knew about it, allegedly, and then booby trapped the hell out of it so no-one could get in...allegedly.  We were not shown any x-rays or ultrasounds to back this up, we were simply shown a small mountain, told it contained the mausoleum and the remains, and then told to just believe it.  Ok.  The rock is supposed to be famous, not sure why, but I was not going to be able to take a picture of it without being photobombed by a Chinese person who HAD to take a pic with this allegedly famous rock.

"Famous rock"

Map of excavations and mausoleum

     Having so far eaten only a snickers bar and some veggies, (I had a popsicle), we were famished by the time the tour company dropped us back off at the Muslim center in search of more amazing food.  I have to say the food in Shenzhen sucks, generally, but the food in Xi'an was China amazing!  Abi agreed with me that most Chinese food is better in the US.  So, we decided (Ok, I decided because I was cash broke and wanted to use plastic) to find a nice place to sit down, have a cocktail, and some small bar apps.  WRONG ANSWER!  This is China, that doesn't exist.  After wandering about for an hour, we settled on a noodle place.  The price was reasonable, the food was excellent, and we would have eaten a dog by then.  Full and happy, we headed to the Muslim section to pick up a few more gifts and find dessert.  WRONG ANSWER!  We only made it a few blocks before the shit hit the fan...literally.  I did not make it to a bathroom on time and only stumbled into an ewwwwish bathroom for round 2.  Two words.  Squat. toilet.  WRONG ANSWER!  Abi, having experience with this issue in China, set out to find paper towels, wipes, anything...(newspaper), and possibly some new pants.  After hitting (literally) 3 toilets, we were able to procure a cab and head back to the hotel.  I left a path of destruction in our wake.  At the last place, an old Chinese lady shot me a disgusted look.  I just smiled and shook my head.  Kettle, meet black pot!

     Needless to say, I was happy to get back to the hotel after a stop for immodium AD, turns out Abi knows the word for diarrhea in Chinese :-)  After a shower, I put my clothes in the washer and went to bed.  One of the times I was up in the night, I hung the wet clothes up on the rod.

     We were able to get back to Shenzhen at a reasonable hour, but were charged almost triple the cost for the cab from the airport as the driver took us all around the outside of the city before dropping me at home.  Not a fan of China here.