Saturday, April 2, 2016

A million things and then some!

     So, I have been horribly remiss in not blogging, but when I say life has been crazy, it is crazy IN CHINA!  First things first.  Chinese New Year (CNY) was a much anticipated and much dreaded non-issue.  Our last day of teaching was January 15, and we were expected back on February 22, 2016 (GO YEAR OF THE MONKEY!).
     The entire time I spent in Shenzhen for the winter holiday the weather was horrible!  It was extremely cold (for Southern China) and there is NO HEAT in any of the buildings.  It was cold, damp, raining, and miserable the entire time.  It got down to 50 degrees in my apartment, and while I know that sounds warm when it is -10 outside, try turning down your heat to 50 and get back to me!  There was NO way to get warm except to cuddle under my throws, wear sweats, and drink tons of hot tea.  I was taking (very expensive) cabs home from the language center and I almost wept when I got into one cab and he had the heat on!
      I was horribly sick the entire time and literally only left my room to go to the language center to teach.  My schedule was Wednesday and Sunday and it would take me the 3 days between gigs to work up the strength to do it again.  It got so bad, one Sunday I called in sick and sent a text to the gal down the hall who claimed to be a nurse.  She took one look at me, told me I looked like hell, and said she would run and get me some antibiotics.  She came back with cold med tablets and said she didn't know what kind of antibiotics I would need, but she would return to the pharmacy and try again.  That was about 11:00 am.  I did not hear back from her until about 4:30 pm when she informed me that she had my meds and was on her way back.  I received a picture of her with a black eye and a promise to tell me the whole story.  I told her to forget it, I was going back to bed.
     The next morning I contacted one of my fellow teachers and begged some meds.  You have to realize that almost everyone living in the dorms had left for the holiday.  It was nice and quiet, but there was noone to ask for help (see "help" rendered above).  Victoria not only brought me some antibiotics, she brought me a 2 liter of Sprite.  I was never so glad to see someone in my life!
     Meanwhile, the gal across the hall, the one with the large dog, knocked on my door to say hi and see how I was doing.  She asked if I needed anything and I was able to respond that I did not, but thank you.  She then inquired as to whether the offer to dog sit was still on.  I told her that I would help care for Flynn, but that the other gal (the one with the alleged black eye) would have to walk him as I was too sick and it was wayyyyyy too cold to go out.  Sure enough, about 4:30 that afternoon she was back with keys and dog and a quick good-bye.  I contacted Miss No-Show (MNS) and gave her keys and dog when she finally returned home at 9:00 pm.
     To say that I was relieved to be going to Thailand, where it was 80-90 and sunny, is an understatement.  I was very excited as I have always loved Thai food.  It turned out that one of my fellow teachers, Mitch, has a home in Thailand just outside of Bangkok.  His wife and daughter live there full-time and he teaches abroad.  They both agree that after he is home for the summer or winter holiday, everyone is relieved to see him go back to school...LOL
     So, because I booked my flight only a week and a half before I left, due to the fact the language center had not confirmed the time off and because I wanted to make sure I got paid in China on February 10, I booked my flight out on Feb. 11.  My employer threw me a positive curveball and paid us February 1, because they were all taking off for the CNY,  The language center pays on the 5th, but not until midnight...so why not say we get paid the 6th????
     My flight was set to depart at 2:00 am, yes, OMG early on the morning of the 11th, so I headed to the airport in the afternoon of the 10th.  CNY was on the 8th, and the 11th was a Tuesday, so I figured that most of the traffic at the borders would be light in the middle of the afternoon.  I was right.  I whipped through customs on both sides of the border and took the 45 minute bus directly to the airport.  OMG is the Hong Kong Airport a happening place.  Unlike "The Terminal", you could actually live at the HKA.  I figured I would rather spend my time wandering the huge and fabulous airport and fall asleep on their very convenient long benches with no arm rests, then be trying to do this in the middle of the night.
     I took a picture from the airport, and if I can access it, I will include it.
By the time I got on my flight, I was dead tired and slept the entire 2.5 hour flight.  I arrived at the airport at 5:00 am and whipped through customs at that end as well.  Mitch, bless his heart, was there to greet me!  He is so used to being up at that hour it was nothing for him to come and get me.  He was also correct in saying that the traffic at that hour is actually doable.  Rush hour in Thailand means going nowhere slowwwwwwwwly.  He lives in a beautiful gated community.

     The first thing we did was to take a water taxi into Bangkok proper and change some CNY into THB or Thai Bhat.  
I was thrilled at the exchange rate and everything is cheaper in Thailand!  The first thing I noticed in Thailand was all of the shrines.  I started to take pictures of them until I realized there were on every other street corner.  Each was unique and beautiful in its own way.


The second thing I noticed about Thailand was that it was MUCH cleaner looking and feeling than China.  My overall impression was that it was a clean country.


     Downtown Bangkok proper has a similar feel to some of the cramped back alley areas of Shenzhen.  The rest is just the normal "downtown" area of any large city, minus the shrines.  BUT, and there is always a big but, there is a large population of trans and alternative lifestyle folks in Thailand.  I always joke with my fellow female expats about the fact that almost all of the Western men living in China are losers who can't get a girlfriend back home.  Some of them give off a "skeevy perv vibe" and some of them just reek of desperation.  In Thailand, it was ewwwwwww, skeeve, perv....and OMFG REALLY???? on every single corner.  It was like every single white Westerner who wasn't in China was living in downtown Bangkok.  I felt in constant need of a shower and a huge vat of hand sanitizer....really, it made me more uncomfortable then any single other thing I have ever done in my life and I have done gay porn night at the Evil Anvil!
     The food!!!!!  OMFG THE FOOD!  I have found that I prefer American Chinese food to the real thing because meat is usually in identifiable chunks with actual full sized veggies, so you know what you are eating and there is both protein and nutrition in the meal.  I have always loved Thai food and so I was hoping it would be as good as I hoped.  I have to tell you, it was MUCH BETTER!  The difference between Blue Bunny ice-cream and Hagaan Daz...seriously, it was more then I hoped and was both recognizable and tasty.  The WORST Thai street food would beat the BEST restaurant food in China any single day of the week!  I also did it the proper way and when I took Mitch and his wife and daughter out for a meal, I made sure she ordered what she felt I would like with the hot stuff on the side for her.  I was addicted to the street sausages (which appear to be actual sausages with a natural color and flavor) that contained pork and fresh ginger.  You eat them with raw cabbage and raw ginger.  The Thai eat them with raw green chilies....nope, didn't even try that stuff...LOL



     After a long day of shopping in downtown Bangkok, we stopped for a cocktail at a rooftop bar with a view of the city.  It sealed the deal and I fell in love.  I want to come back to Thailand to spend my days eating my way through the entire country!  When I get the bucks together for the tummy tuck, Thailand is the place to have a cosmetic vacation!




     The next day I was taken to ride the elephants.  I had a great time and I think the one elephant tried to steal my purse!  I can now check that off my bucket list!












We also spent time visiting the giant gold Buddha statue in the Shrine on the premises.  I was awed by the sights and humbled by the gracious visitors and tour guides.  We had a wonderful time, an amazing lunch, and I was able to pick up a few souvenirs.



















     After all this grand adventure, it was time to relax.  I took the bus to the boat dock and then took a water taxi to Koh Samet (or Koh Samed, depending on which sign you read...LOL).

Sunday, February 7, 2016

When in China...AND my top 10

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!  IT IS THE YEAR OF THE MONKEY



     As I posted previously, or maybe not, I spent my first day of the Western New Year in bed, or on the floor near the toilet, with a realllllly bad case of food poisoning.  So, my start to the year 2016 was a bad way to start the new year.  Because I am in China, I will officially consider today, Feb. 8, 2016, as the beginning of my new year.  The downside to Chinese New Year (CNY), is that apparently the "fireworks" may last until the time we go back to school Feb. 22.  It is not actually "fireworks" as we know them, but long strings of firecrackers that go off at all hours and make hella noise....yeah, not a fan.  The good part is that they tend to be isolated short burst rounds and not a continual hours upon hours sorta thing.  I did not even try to get to sleep before 12:30am, but it wasn't that bad.

     In addition to the firecrackers, it seems that every single Chinese person leaves to "go home" for CNY.  Our streets have been deserted and I admit I have enjoyed the quiet.  It totally sucked that my favorite hair guys closed up shop, but I found another salon down the street that was still open to cover my old roots for the new year!



These are common Chinese greetings for the new year:
  • May the Year of the Monkey attract all the good wishes this year.
  • Τhis New Year may good luck and prosperity follow yοu wherever you gο, and may Lady Luck scare away any misfortune that was planning tο come yοur way.
  • Happy Chinese New Year! Wishing you prosperity on the Year of the Monkey.
  • I wish you all the luck, health, and fortune and all those you love! Happy Chinese New Year!
  • Wish you success in your career and happiness for your family! Happy Chinese New Year!
  • Hope all your New Year dreams come true! I wish you good health, wealth and luck for the forthcoming year of the Monkey!
  • Get rid of the demons of the year gone by and embrace the positives to lead a fulfilling and pleasurable life ahead. Wish you good fortune on the Chinese New Year!
  • Harmony brings health. May joy and happiness surround you today and always!
  • Happiness, Prosperity, Longevity! (In Mandarin: 福禄寿, pronounced: fú lù shòu)
  • Enjoy good health! (In Mandarin: 身体健康; pronounced: Shēntǐ jiànkāng)
And some good Chinese proverbs to live by:
Chinese proverbs
  1. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
  2. When luck visits you, everyone will know where you live.
  3. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
  4. To attract good fortune, spend a new coin on an old friend, share an old pleasure with a new friend, and lift up the heart of a true friend by writing his name on the wings of a dragon.
  5. Patience is power; with time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes silk.
  6. Kindness is the best quality of the soul.
  7. Frugality is the mother of prosperity.
  8. Don't curse the darkness – light a candle.
  9. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
  10. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
     With the beginning of a new year, I am excited about what the year may bring.  I will start my new year in China off properly by escaping to Thailand for 10 days.  Mitch, a new good friend, has a home in Thailand and when he is not teaching abroad, he returns home to his wife and daughter.  Having spent a number of years in Saudi Arabia, he has racked up the bucks in order to be able to now teach and travel more to enjoy then the make bank.  He is also one of my fellow "dorm buddies" and lives just down the hall.  We exchange food and recipes and good talk.  
     Because Thailand doesn't have all the wacky mail restrictions, and is far less likely to open my package, I am having the boys ship the remainder of my meds from the VA and various other items to his address in Thailand.  Woooohooooo English books, Western vitamins, and actual honest-to-go paid meds!  I take aspirin for my heart, but nothing like aspirin here.

     So, my "Top 10" lists.  I decided to list the top 10 likes and dislikes I have as to my host country.  I will start with the dislikes first, so I have something to look forward to...LOL

10.     Too many Chinese people.  I joke all the time this would be a great place to visit if there were fewer Chinese!  That said, I stick out like a sore thumb.  Between the curly red hair and the pale skin, I am constantly stared at and people will take pictures of me while they think I am not looking.  I am also much larger/taller then most Chinese so it does not help me blend in.  In addition, mothers are constantly shoving their kids in my face urging them to say "hello".  Complete strangers will approach me to talk so they can practice their English.  If I had a nickel for everyone who has asked me to wechat friend them, I could fly home first class...LOL
9.     Everything is cheaply made.  People back home laugh and say the cheap shit is made in China and shipped to the US.  What those folks in the US fail to realize is that they are actually getting the "good shit" and the really "cheap shit" stays in China.
8.     Everything is written in Chinese.  But, the better restaurants have pictures with English captions.
7.     They don't seem to carry strawberry blonde hair coloring.  I can find something almost like it, but never my actual color.
6.     The money.  They have both coins and bills for $1 and .50, and the .50 paper bill is really annoying as all get out.  I simply collect my coins because it seems most places round to the whole amount.  Before the CNY I was bored and broke and decided to cash in my coins.  I had $12 in just dimes alone.  Tip to those who would like to do the same thing, put them in stacks of 10 coins each and then tape with together.  When I arrived at the bank with my bag-o-coins, I was handed a roll of tape and shown to a table.  If I knew that before, I would have saved myself time and getting laughed at.
5.     Waiting your turn.  The Chinese are actually very good about forming a line.  BUT, as soon as the gate opens, doors open, etc., all bets are off and there is a mad dash.  I was in line at customs when a man literally stepped under the rope and then tried to step in front of me.  We had been waiting for about 30 minutes and this guy had just arrived.  I turned to my friend and, very loudly, exclaimed, "Oh no he did NOT just cut in front of us.", to which end, he sheepishly turned around and left.
4.     Nose picking...I mean seriously digging for gold.  I have actually put down what I was about to buy when I spotted the cashier, who would handle my money, picking their nose like the world was coming to an end while I was approaching the check out line. No thanks.
3.     NO ONE covers their mouth when they sneeze or cough.  EVER!  No wonder I am sick all the time.  I have to add to this the habit of blowing their nose into the street, when they are not picking it.
2.    The toilets.
1.   The food.  WTF did I just eat?  If I was more aware of WHAT I was eating, I might not be so leery to try new things.  No, seriuosly, WTF did I just eat?  Wait, never mind.  I. do. not. want. to. know.

Now my top 10:
10.    It is super close to Hong Kong, where I can buy most of what I cannot obtain in China.
9.     The fact that stuff I would pay crazy money for back home is super cheap here.  I pay 20 rmb ($3.04) to get my hair shampooed and blow dried, 25 rmb ($3.80) if I want a haircut WITH that shampoo and blow dry, and a whopping 160 rmb ($24.28) to get my hair colored, shampooed, and blown dry!  If Robert is reading this, I hope he doesn't tell Mikey about this!  AND, the best part?  They DO NOT ACCEPT TIPS!
8.     Laughing at the crazy shit they have printed on their clothes.  They are huge fans of anything Western, when it comes to writing on their clothes, and it is all I can do to avoid laughing at them and pointing and taking pictures.  Hmmm, why does that sound familiar?


7.     Amazing outdoor shopping strips.  In any area, there will always be blocks long outdoor shopping strips that are great for finding bargains.  They are not as nice as the indoor malls, but prices are cheaper!
6.     Amazing indoor malls.  It makes shopping easier, and they are air conditioned, but their prices tend to be higher then the street markets.  I have found that I can finally fit into off the rack at H&M so that is where I go when I need something.


5.     Amazing street food.  Most of it is noodles and rice, or mystery meat on a stick, but they do have some amazing street food vendors and where else could you get a fully roasted sweet potato?
4.     OTC antibiotics.  Twice I have been able to kick whatever it was that was kicking my ass by using OTC antibiotics.  Saved going to a doctor who would not understand a word of what I was saying.  That said, it had backfired on me once with the kidney infection, so buyer beware.
3.     The parks!  The outdoor parks and gardens are amazing and awe inspiring.  It is clear the city planners made plenty of room for my mind blowing parks.  I love walking, and walking in Shenzhen has been a joy.
2.     The public transportation!  I can get almost anywhere by bus or train!  The metro (subway) is AMAZING and super clean.  No matter what time or day, it seems to run very often and is always reliable.  They make the announcements related to the stops in 3 languages, Chinese, something, and English.  It is amazing and I am uber impressed!
1.    THE FOOD!  The selection and abundance of fresh produce is amazing and it is almost always very cheap!  I can fill a bag of produce for under $20, yet a jar of honey is $40.  The secret is to remember that there are only 2 food options in China, don't eat OR don't ask.  They also have some crazy fun food as well!

My new favorite obsession was discovered by accident.  I do NOT eat at McDonalds when I am at home, but in China, every now and then (a total of 3 times), when I am starving and can't think about trying to comprehend what I am eating, I will stop at McD's for a nosh.  I ordered a double cheeseburger meal and a hot fudge sunday.  When they brought it to me, the ice-cream was pink.  I was thinking strawberry, but the pictures on the displays may have indicated rosehip tea flavor.  I am adventurous, this is China, and it was ice-cream...right?  So, I tried it and I LOVED IT!  When I went back another day, JUST to order the sunday, the gal spoke just enough English to inform me that it was peach blossom flavor.  DID NOT CARE, LOVED IT!

Because I am finally at a point that, between the Chinese washer and having lost a few pounds, I need to buy a few new clothes.  I found this at a Victoria Secretish style place, but alas, it was wayyyy too small.

The one thing I do want to have made before I leave China is a wicked winter coat with a fur collar.  I spotted these two gals on the train and had to take a pic.
I loved the old school coat on the left, but the burgundy fur collar and tweed fabric on the right were calling to me as well!

     I am finally beginning to feel like I might be getting "better".  I am not coughing up a rainbow of phlegm, but the phlegm just keeps coming and coming and coming.  I am escaping to Thailand for 10 days to try and figure out if it is actually me or if it is China....we shall see, I promise to post pics!